My Depression Story

This is the hardest (and most controversial) post I’ve ever written, mostly because I’ve never had a conversation about this topic with anyone. But in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, I decided to share my story and hopefully help others who are like me.


Depression left me with a scar – an experience that I wish I could forget but can’t. And it still hurts a little every time I even hear the word uttered. Depression could be caused by one big traumatic event or the accumulation of little things that seem trivial when looked at separately. For me, it was the accumulation of little things that led to my depression when I was 12 years old.

The saddest part was…no one noticed. It’s not that people were unobservant; I was just really good at hiding it. Frankly, I didn’t want them to know. Instead of telling anyone, I put on a smile for others’ sake and only cried when I was alone. Having to go to school every morning helped, because being with other people helped to distract me and prevented me from being alone with my dark thoughts. Others’ love for me saved me. The thought of the devastation and the consequences that would befall those who loved me after I was gone scared me more than the idea of sticking it out and living my life.

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One of the reasons I started this blog was to share my experiences (both the good and bad) and hopefully help people who are going through similar stages in life. My first blog post was a letter to my 12-year-old self (read it here), because I wish someone told me that, despite all my doubts, everything would be ok.

So here I am today, offering some encouraging words to people who are suffering from depression and hoping that they know that someone cares and loves them:

  1. You are WORTHY!
  2. Although you may not know what it is yet, you do bring VALUE to the world
  3. I don’t know how it always works out, but EVERYTHING WILL BE OK
  4. Wounds take time to heal, so please take your time ❤

And for those who may know someone who is suffering from depression:

  1. Someone with depression don’t want to hear advice, they just want someone to be there for them
  2. LISTEN! Sometimes, that’s all you need to do and can do
  3. Don’t underestimate the seriousness of depression. Someone with depression can’t just “snap out of it”
  4. Sometimes, all someone needs are your company, words of encouragement, and love

I know this topic was a little, well, depressing, but it’s something I’ve wanted to address for a while. To those who made it this far, THANK YOU!

❤ Hanyi

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